I liked this book! Really appreciated Alua Athur’s honesty about her relationship “failures” and successes and her career pivot. Also thought she did I liked this book! Really appreciated Alua Athur’s honesty about her relationship “failures” and successes and her career pivot. Also thought she did a nice job reflecting honestly about death and dying in a way that was both appropriately somber while still maintaining her cheery disposition. Her incorporation of body positivity and messages about encountering racism and other multicultural issues added a nice tough to the memoir. While I thought the flow and organization of Briefly Perfectly Human was a bit chaotic and not as tightly structured as it could have been, this also seemed to align with Arthur’s vibe which I respect. Four stars....more
Very mixed feelings about this one. I’ll start with what I appreciated: Jon Chu sharing about the highs and lows of a creative career as well as the aVery mixed feelings about this one. I’ll start with what I appreciated: Jon Chu sharing about the highs and lows of a creative career as well as the anti-Asian racism he witnessed and experienced as he progressed as a director. The writing in Viewfinder, while not phenomenal, was easy to read. There’s some reflection about cultural identity I found honest and a little compelling at times.
However, I had big issues with what seemed to me to be Chu’s internalized racism throughout this experience as a director. It was odd for me to read this because I think Chu does name his initial shame about his Asian identity and his initial attempt at directing Asian-focused films. But he doesn’t really ever unpack the source of that internalized racism or the steps he took to overcome it. You can imagine that he eventually did confront these issues because of how he directed Crazy Rich Asians, but he has a line about feeling lonely even though he’s surrounded by other Asian people on set, which motivated him to pursue marriage with his wife, who is white… he doesn’t mention his wife’s race, but still it was odd to read. Also, he referred to Henry Golding as the Asian Cary Grant, which is just a pet peeve of mine because why are you reinforcing white people as the norm?
Maybe I feel negatively about these aspects of the book because I grew up around a lot of Asian Americans and haven’t contended with internalized racism (because I choose to surround myself with fellow people of color who also don’t have internalized racism). It was also odd for me to read about Chu essentially unilaterally praising white people in tech and white people in the film industry. I get that it’s a memoir and he’s still in the profession so he may feel uncomfortable popping off on people or naming white privilege more directly, and I too have also worked with some wonderful white mentors in my field, but it didn’t sit right with me that he didn’t name more explicitly the role of white supremacy in film overall.
Anyway, I wouldn’t recommend this book unless you’re really interested in film or something like that. I’m glad that Chu acknowledged the criticism he received for erasing dark-skinned Latinx people in In The Heights, which at least showed a little lack of defensiveness/openness to criticism. This was overall a mildly entertaining read but not one I’ll cherish. Two memoirs that come to mind by Asian American men that I really enjoyed instead are Sign, Gone by Phuc Tran and Stay True by Hua Hsu....more
Important book about the inequities faced by disadvantaged students (e.g., low income, students of color, students with both those identities) at collImportant book about the inequities faced by disadvantaged students (e.g., low income, students of color, students with both those identities) at college, with Harvard as the site for this specific study. Anthony Abraham Jack details the disparities between these students especially in the context of COVID-19, for example how wealthy students could afford to take lavish vacations whereas low-income students were often forced to go back to difficult home situations and struggle for financial security. There were interesting points too about the performativity of social justice, like how White students could post on social media about being anti-racist even while literally perpetuating racism in their day-to-day lives.
There were times while reading this book that I felt like I was reading anecdote after anecdote. They were important anecdotes but it seemed a bit repetitive stylistically, almost like I was reading a long results section of a qualitative peer-reviewed publication in book form. Still, the content is important so if you’re interested in education and equity issues, you may want to check this one out....more
I really liked this memoir about binge eating disorder and anti-fat bias in society overall. Emma Specter does a great job of writing about her struggI really liked this memoir about binge eating disorder and anti-fat bias in society overall. Emma Specter does a great job of writing about her struggles with binge eating in a way that feels real and raw without glorifying the disorder. My sense is that many eating disorder memoirs focus on more of the restrictive/anorexic side of disordered eating, so it’s refreshing – though of course sad and harrowing – to read about Specter’s journey. At the same time, I appreciated and resonated with her hard-won path toward self-acceptance and coming to cherish her body. From following and learning from fat influencers to figuring out what types of movement make her feel good about herself, Specter includes a lot of wisdom in these pages. She acknowledges the intersections of anti-fat bias and anti-Black racism, as well as other forms of oppression too.
On a writing level I don’t think this was the perfect memoir. Sometimes the blend of memoir and interviewing other people didn’t always read spectacularly, and Specter does use a fair amount of long sentences (something I think I can tend towards too, so…) Still, as someone who’s had an eating disorder in the past and is intentional about my recovery and relationship with food every day, it’s nice to read about another person’s healing journey, amidst all the societal anti-fat bs....more
A varied set of essays about food culture and people’s difficulties with eating. There was a lot of focus on children who struggle with food 3.5 stars
A varied set of essays about food culture and people’s difficulties with eating. There was a lot of focus on children who struggle with food and eating, which I wasn’t expecting though I found interesting and compelling. Virginia Sole-Smith addresses a variety of topics, including orthorexia and how “healthy” eating can turn disordered, disparities between Black and white adults in food access, and bariatric surgery. Sole-Smith is a smart writer and I was engaged by each essay, though I think I wanted more of a central thesis or an even deeper analysis behind these pieces. Even a deeper dive into intuitive eating would have been interesting or helpful in the context of the other pieces in this book. Still, it’s nice to see Sole-Smith’s growth as a writer with her newer book Fat Talk and I’d recommend this one for those who are interested in its synopsis....more
Appreciated this book for its intelligent and thorough takedown of anti-fat bias, especially in relation to children and teens. Virginia Sole-Smith coAppreciated this book for its intelligent and thorough takedown of anti-fat bias, especially in relation to children and teens. Virginia Sole-Smith covers a lot of territory in this book, such as how parents talk to their children about fatness, food, and weight, the ways that doctors can either perpetuate or reduce anti-fat bias, and how social media can stir up anti-fat bias and glorify thinness. I like that Sole-Smith blended narratives from real people with peer-reviewed research and takes from academics; she also names the intersection of anti-fat bias and other oppressions like anti-Black racism and misogyny. For those who have already read a decent amount about fatphobia this book may not be super surprising or filled with new information, however I found it a nice refresher and am glad more people are talking about this.
As a somewhat random aside, again, I am glad that people are naming fatphobia/anti-fat bias for what it is. Just the other week a gay man I play tennis with talked about cutting carbs so he could look good to go to Fire Island, and I was like, nope, I am not engaging in this conversation nor endorsing/condoning fatphobia in the queer community. I’m glad that I spend pretty much no time thinking about my weight or what my body looks like so I can focus on my meaningful work, hobbies, and relationships. And, I hope books like these help more people appreciate their bodies for how they feel and what they can do instead of how they look....more
Raw and moving essay collection about Black masculinity. Really appreciated Joel Leon for opening up about topics that we often don’t hear about from Raw and moving essay collection about Black masculinity. Really appreciated Joel Leon for opening up about topics that we often don’t hear about from Black men, such as dealing with body image issues, navigating co-parenting both in-person and long-distance, and friendships with fellow Black men. His writing is thoughtful and his energetic personality comes off the page well. I liked that with a lot of the essays there is not a simple or clean resolution, rather he invites nuance and difficult of conflicting truths to co-exist. At times I thought the writing itself was a little verbose or unstructured (e.g., really long paragraphs, questionable transitions sometimes) though Leon’s honesty and realness still made this book a worthwhile read....more
Interesting and powerful nonfiction book about Anexos, or informal treatment centers for substance use disorders and mental illness in Mexico City. I Interesting and powerful nonfiction book about Anexos, or informal treatment centers for substance use disorders and mental illness in Mexico City. I liked how Angela Garcia showed how the individual-level injustices that occur in Anexos (e.g., violence, sexism) are connected to broader systemic-level injustices (e.g., corrupt politicians, lack of social infrastructure to care for people who are ill, U.S. foreign policy). Garcia includes raw testaments from people who’ve resided in Anexos as well as their family members. She also intersperses some of her own life history throughout the book, which I appreciated so that we know some of her positionality. I resonated with her honesty about how her difficult childhood and how her marriage with a man ended, and it was intriguing to hear a little bit about her new romantic relationship with a woman.
The writing was intelligent and engaging though I thought the flow between passages could have been better at times. Still, I give this book four stars because of the novelty of covering Anexos and the author’s clear commitment to fighting social injustice how she can....more
I really enjoyed reading this book despite its devastating contents. First, I found Jesselyn Cook an excellent nonfiction writer. We follow f4.5 stars
I really enjoyed reading this book despite its devastating contents. First, I found Jesselyn Cook an excellent nonfiction writer. We follow five different families in The Quiet Damage and Cook makes each of their stories memorable and distinct. I was on the edge of my seat and so curious about how each of their stories would unfold.
On the note of Cook’s writing, she does a superb job of both humanizing the people who fell/bought into QAnon conspiracy theories while also showing the harms they inflicted upon their loved ones. There’s so much showing instead of telling in this book and that made each of the family’s lived experiences immersive and compelling. Seeing how traumatic life events, loneliness, and disconnection from others fueled people’s buy into QAnon was an eye-opener to how just presenting facts isn’t a sufficient solution to these horrifying conspiracy theories. And, it was so heartbreaking reading about the loved ones who lost their relationships with the people who cared about who rabidly bought into QAnon.
In sum, I felt genuinely moved reading this book and applaud Cook for her skilled writing in making that happen. The blend of holding empathy for all parties involved while also wanting better for the grieving loved ones (and the marginalized people in society who suffer because of these vile extremist views) is a hard balance to strike, and Cook pulls it off with this book. Recommended!...more
Overall enjoyed this essay collection and thought Morgan Parker did a nice job of intertwining the personal with the sociopolitical. Topics r3.5 stars
Overall enjoyed this essay collection and thought Morgan Parker did a nice job of intertwining the personal with the sociopolitical. Topics range from Black representation in media to romantic loneliness as a Black woman in her 30s to people who defend Bill Cosby. I found Parker’s writing astute and perceptive and I appreciated the honest, non-cliched way she emphasized therapy and mental health in this collection. There were times where I wished she went a bit deeper or got more specific, like when she referenced her “uncomfortably abundant number of white friends” or when she wrote about romantic loneliness without interrogating amatonormativity or romantic monogamy culture in general. Still, a thoughtful essay collection from a writer confronting misogynoir and imagining a more just world than the one we live in now....more
I really liked this book and so appreciate Lyz Lenz for writing honestly about her divorce and not putting up with men’s bs! I thought she did an overI really liked this book and so appreciate Lyz Lenz for writing honestly about her divorce and not putting up with men’s bs! I thought she did an overall effective job of integrating memoir (e.g., story of her own marriage and divorce) with social commentary and reporting related to heterosexual marriage and divorce more broadly. At the age of 29 I’m getting so inundated with social media posts about weddings, which I don’t care too much about because I don’t want to get married/disavow the whole wedding industrial complex, though it does strike me as ironic/problematic that people don’t nearly talk as often about divorces as much as weddings. Lenz blazes through any divorce stigma in this book and writes with candor about divorce’s benefits, despite the annoying parts of the divorce process, especially for women who aren’t getting what they want/need from marriage.
A few things that stood out to me in a positive way when I read this book: loved how Lenz takes a firm stand on the patriarchal nature of women taking men’s last names in marriage. So important to critique choice feminism. This section of the book reminded me of one of my favorite academic mentors and how her children (or at least one of them) took her last name instead of her husband’s last name. Iconic! I also liked how Lenz wrote about how men who identify as “liberal” or as “feminists” can still treat women horribly; I’ve noticed this within the gay male community too about men who identify with social justice causes yet are racist or femmephobic or perpetuate other forms of oppression. It’s easy to self-identify as someone who is in favor of equity or social progress, though you have to actually look at someone’s behavior, not just what they say. Finally, I’m glad she ended the book on the note of chosen community and prioritizing friendships and relationships outside of the heteronormative nuclear mold.
Reading this book was interesting because it paired kinda nicely with Splinters by Leslie Jamison which I read earlier this year, though the books are very different. I felt Jamison’s book emphasized the emotional grooves of her divorce but lacked more direct and necessary political commentary, whereas Lenz’s book does a way better job of discussing the sociopolitical underpinnings of marriage and divorce. I don’t think this book is perfect – some of its organization and structure felt a bit choppy and the writing didn’t always wow me. However, I definitely enjoyed it enough to give it four stars and hope it helps continue the conversation about finding happiness outside of romantic relationships with men....more
Appreciated the author’s honest reflections about race, childhood trauma, and taking accountability for his own actions in his relationships 3.5 stars
Appreciated the author’s honest reflections about race, childhood trauma, and taking accountability for his own actions in his relationships with women. Unfortunately I felt the writing style, especially toward the second half of the book, veered more into telling than showing which was hard to connect to. Though some of his sentences came across as too abstract for me, I still think others may relate or find comfort/wisdom in Carvell Wallace’s reflections about sexuality, addiction, and consent....more
This book wrecked me in the best possible way. In Here After, Amy Lin writes about her husband’s death at the tragic age of 32, their relationship befThis book wrecked me in the best possible way. In Here After, Amy Lin writes about her husband’s death at the tragic age of 32, their relationship before and her journey into grief afterward. She captures scenes and emotions so well, writing about the moments she and Kurtis shared together throughout their relationship, to when she learned about his death, to the pain-ridden moments that comprised her existence following his passing. By page 29 I already felt sucker punched in the stomach and a couple of passages had already made me tear up. She writes in a short vignette style and her ability to render specific memories of their relationship, like little slices of conversation, tore my heart up. Some may describe her writing as choppy though I think it worked in this memoir and represented the consciousness of someone going through an awful, raw, real tragedy. She depicted Kurtis’s loving and larger-than-life personality so well; I felt like I got a real sense of him as a person.
One of my favorite elements of this memoir was how Lin asserted her right to be sad. With grief, sometimes the aftermath is just horrible and painful and morose. You don’t need to try to make it happy or put a positive spin on it. A tragedy can be a tragedy and it’s important to make space for those feelings.
I also appreciated Lin’s honesty throughout Here After. I liked her candid self-characterization as the more prickly or “petty” romantic partner compared to Kurtis. She writes about her own insecurities in their relationship and how she feared him leaving her, which I think takes guts to put on the page. She’s real about many parts of the grieving process, such as how after Kurtis’s death she spent time with one of his closest friends, and then this friend ghosted her with no explanation.
In sum, I absolutely loved this. Reading Here After, I felt immersed in Lin’s emotional landscape while also feeling compassion for the tragedies and losses I’ve experienced in my own life. Great representation of an Asian couple though of course it's so freaking tragic. A stunner of a debut....more
Great essay collection by a writer ahead of her time. Appreciated June Jordan’s courage in sharing both her forward political thinking (e.g., her pro-Great essay collection by a writer ahead of her time. Appreciated June Jordan’s courage in sharing both her forward political thinking (e.g., her pro-Palestine and anti-Zionist beliefs, her ideals for Black women’s liberation while also critiquing representation politics) and her personal experiences related to matters such as breast cancer and sexual assault. While some of her takes may not come across as new to those who read a lot of Black feminist texts, there’s a conviction, full-spiritedness, and progressive politic in Jordan’s writing that is still admirable and enjoyable....more
I loved this book despite its imperfections. It contains powerful writing from Sloane Crosley about her grief process after one of her closes4.5 stars
I loved this book despite its imperfections. It contains powerful writing from Sloane Crosley about her grief process after one of her closest friends died by suicide. There’s so much sad honesty in these pages, about missing her friend, feeling angry at the world, about time passing and your person still being gone. I liked that she shines a spotlight on grieving a close friend given that grief in media is often portrayed centering a nuclear family member or romantic partner. Crosley’s prose overall impressed me – from the first page she jumps right into the action and I was hooked until the very end. I read this whole book in one afternoon.
There were a few passages in this book that took it to the five-star level for me, passages that captured grief in such a poignant and real way. There’s one passage about grief being like holding a vase and not having anywhere to put it down that made me cry. And the last few pages made me bawl. I loved these parts of the book and they felt so affirming to me in my own grief processes, that sometimes grief just is and you have to find a way to keep living even with the pain.
I want to be honest about what I perceive as some of the book’s faults, a minor one and then a more major one. First, I think at times Crosley’s prose read as a bit intellectualized to me, when she could’ve added even more detail about the friendship or her or her friend’s background. Second, I took some issue with how she wrote about Russell’s problematic behavior. I do think it’s important that she named the parts of her friend that weren’t ideal or that were problematic; I love not idealizing people who’ve passed away. Yet, some of her writing about his problematic behavior almost came across as making excuses for it. There’s one passage where she writes about the younger generation wanting to engage in activism and sublimating that desire through calling out their problematic bosses and I was like… uh people can both address structural inequality through broader actions and also call out harassment in the workplace? Basically, I feel she could’ve more directly just owned the fact that her friend engaged in problematic/harassing behavior instead of, in my view, dancing around it or overwriting about it. This could’ve even led to deeper exploration of what it’s like for privileged people (because her friend was a white man) to lose power or to get called out for harmful things they used to not get called out for.
Anyway, despite my quibbles about Grief is for People I loved the book and was deeply moved by it. Grief is so important to me personally and professionally and I’m heartened by this book’s addition to the grief canon....more
Interesting meditations from a Native American memoirist and writer about retaining one’s heritage culture while facing pressures to assimilate to theInteresting meditations from a Native American memoirist and writer about retaining one’s heritage culture while facing pressures to assimilate to the dominant group. Deborah Jackson Taffa writes with unfiltered honesty about the sometimes complicated and sometimes simple dynamics of her family, the white supremacist violence faced by members of the Native community, and her own coming of age amidst different cultural and social factors. While the writing in this memoir sometimes felt a bit slow or uneven to me, I recognize this book’s importance within the broader literary canon....more
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